For the last ten years, I have had a variety of health issues that I have had to deal with. Some are life changing while others are just nuisances.
Perhaps the most blatant and life changing was the discovery of some Bipolar characteristics. Ten years ago, I went through a manic episode that had impacts that radically changed my life and direction for a number of years. I won't go into all the details here, but will hit some highlights.
I was completing my Master of Divinity Program at Western Seminary, interning with the Singles Ministry at Greater Portland Bible Church, working as a long-term substitute for Hillsboro School District, and spending a lot of time with friends. Things seemed to be going very well. I was enjoying what I was doing and doing a lot of very interesting things. I was very involved in a ministry that I believed in and thought I could impact in positive ways. I was getting rid of habits that had plagued me for many years. I was seeking God.
However, there were some flaws in what was happening that I hadn't realized were there, or didn't know the significance that they had. I started to function at a very high level. I was adding new activities left and right. But, I was sleeping less and less. I would go to bed late, and then get up early, completely energized without the ability to fall asleep again. Sometimes, I would lie in bed for 3 to 4 hours or more, trying to fall asleep without success. I had mostly given up video games, but I was still playing a college football game on Nintendo that sometimes kept me up for hours. (By the way I got pretty good at it.)
Just before I had a nervous breakdown, I had a couple of days where I might have slept an hour or two, or perhaps this might be considered to be part of the breakdown I don't know. From my perspective at the time, I thought that I was hearing from God and that everything was great. (More on this later)
Towards the end, I got very suspicious of some of the people who had been my friends and was looking for connections. The Sunday, I went into a hospital, I went to Church and wanted to wash everyone's feet like Jesus did for his disciples, but that wasn't part of the schedule. I got a friend to help me and then called everyone in. My pastor became concerned and brought me in to talk with him another pastor on staff and a good friend. They asked me what was going on and I, in a broken fashion, explained what was going on. My pastors then took me to get me checked out and for the next week I was in a mental ward of a hospital. I would be happy to share that experience with you if you would like to discuss it, but won't go into it at this time.
Coming out of the hospital to a new reality was very difficult. School was done except for one more paper and part of my internship, which I was excused from by my pastor so I could focus on healing. I am sure this was wise at the time, but it left me with a huge void. I had been filling my time with Church activities that were gone. A Bible Study that I had been attending also had finished. One activity that continued was Focus, an international student ministry that I had recently joined. This was a breath of fresh air in a very difficult time in my life, and became an area of blessing and is in my current life as well.
After Summer, I decided to move back to Coos Bay after a recommendation from a mental health provider. This became a huge blow, as I was separated from my friends who were a huge support. My Church was gone and I didn't connect very well with the Churches that I tried back home. This started my funk period that lasted for quite awhile. I got to my parents house and started looking for jobs. There weren't many opportunities for jobs in education, where I had worked for many years. I got a job at ACS that lasted for 4 days, with my new medicines I couldn't handle the 4 O'clock mornings, which would have been difficult for me in any circumstance, and I quit after 4 days.
I got a job driving a taxi, which was kind of fun, but a little stressful to be driving so much. One day, I agreed to go in early, the previous day, I had seen a mental health professional who had changed my medication to a different one to try and help me with my sleep problems. That night I took one of the pills along with my regular medication, but couldn't sleep so after midnight I took another. Eventually I got to sleep, but had to get up earlier than normal. On my way to work I was having trouble keeping my eyes open and so was driving very erratically. I didn't pull over, as I should have, but made it to work. When I arrived there was a policeman who had been following me that was there with me. He gave me a sobriety test, which I failed miserably, and then took me to the police station. I was kind of in shock, but went and took a nap while waking up. After getting out, I took a drug test for my cab company, which I passed, and went home with a ticket for DUII.
After some consideration, I did not fight the charge, but decided to do the diversion program instead, which was cheaper, and kept me from having to plead guilty, while still taking care of my problem. Looking back, it might have been more a result of sleep problems than the drug interaction, but I will probably never know the exact cause until heaven.
I eventually quit the cab company, before everything was resolved, and went to work for South Coast ESD. Staying awake at work became a constant problem as Sleep Disorders that were discovered later came into play. After a few years, I got a job at Siuslaw High School and moved up to Florence. This was a good step for me as I got to live with my brother Neil's family and went to their Church. God healed me a little bit in community over the next year, but there were still lots of problems that I had.
The second year that I worked for Siuslaw School District, I commuted from Coos Bay, which I would continue to do for the next three years. I once again was having trouble staying awake on the road, and struggled with being tired. During this time, I got a few tickets and one of them was for swerving into the other lane. After that one, I talked to my boss and then was able to pull over with permission from them if I needed to in order to stay safe. This helped immensely and I finally was taking responsibility for my driving.
During this time, I decided not to return to Siuslaw School District the following year. I got a letter from DMV that I needed to take a sleep study to check on my ability to drive safely. I took that sleep study and it discovered two sleep issues. Sleep Apnea that was fairly mild and Daytime Affective Disorder, Sleep Apnea prevented me from getting restful sleep and Daytime Affective Disorder kept me from getting tired. It was a complicated issue, but at least I knew what was going on.
I dismissed it as finished and went about my plans, not really doing much different except changing my sleep position. I was also drinking a red bull in the morning during this time to help wake me up, but this caused some problems in my heart rate and so was an added concern. I started taking a medication for hypothyroidism at about this time too.
When Summer came, I stopped drinking red bull and my irregular heart beats went away. After Summer I decided to move and ended up moving to Portland on Halloween 2010 with one complication; the dmv had suspended my license for medical reasons and so I had a car, but no license.
Thus began my Portland funk time. I moved in a condo that a friend owned and spent about 165 out of 168 hours during each week at home. I continued in my computer game playing habit, but just at a more elevated rate. I didn't connect with many friends at this point, but one or two stood by me. I started to go to Focus again in December, which gave me one outlet during the week. I had a few friends over from that connection, which opened up new friends for the first time in a long time.
During that time of my life, I met Scott, a friend from Focus, and while hanging out learned he was going to go to Door of Hope on Sunday. I invited myself along and went and loved it! But, there was still an issue. I didn't bother to look up how to go there again. That Summer I volunteered with FamilyWorks Ministries ESL Program, which took me out a few more times a week and got me used to taking the Max and the buses. After Summer I got a job tutoring. In October, I went to Door of Hope for the second and third times, learning the bus route home on the third one and thus started on my present path.
In February of 2012 I joined a community group at Door of Hope. God was healing me spiritually at this time. I gave up netflix and computer games for a little while. After Community Group ended, I went back to a computer game, but felt miserable, and went into a Summer funk. I was more active, but still not happy nor healthy.
In October, I went back to a community group at the same house (Everett's) where I had went the previous winter. I realized my need for some changes and talked with my friend, Bryson, and decided to change. I gave up computer games again, which is my current state, and found a job. This affected my eating habits as well as I started to eat healthy. I was on uncharted territory in that realm.
One other thing that had happened previously, was that I had started to lose hair, both from a couple bald spots on my face and from my head. I could tell I was losing it from hair all over the place and the drain, which will bring us to a couple of images. My doctors had no idea what the cause was, and just some potential treatments, one of which I started but inconsistently.
So enter eating healthy, Salads, meats, whole grains, vegetables - Something that hadn't been in my diet. I actually liked them and had the time to make salads since I wasn't glued to a screen. I am two months into this change and have the following things to report:
- I actually get tired at night, before taking my medications.
- I eat great food!
- I have come up with some great tasting meals that I might try to sell rights to.
- I am working on a New Business.
- and Hair:
I don't have a pre-shot for these, but let me tell you there was tons more hair in the past year and a half. This wasn't something I expected, but has been a side effect of eating healthy. The hair on my beard is also starting to fill back in.
God has put me in a good place, and is making things in my life new.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you have gotten to the bottom to see this.
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