Monday, June 15, 2015

Private Thoughts from January of 2013


How do you make your mind stop thinking about the woman who you believe is your soul mate?  I haven’t figured that out yet.  I spend time with others, but my mind is set on one only.  When I have time to think alone, my mind goes back to the same one over and over again.
Is it obsessive compulsion?  Is it blind devotion?  Is it a mental disorder?  Or is it just love?
If it is love, then what am I to do about it?  She has a boyfriend if what I have been told is true.  He is someone I know and respect so how do I go about even maintaining a friendship?  If I were to try to pursue her, then I would feel like I was disobeying God, yet if I don’t, I feel like I am being untrue to who I am and betraying my heart.
Does anyone hear my cry?  Yes, God hears.  But, He seems so silent at this time concerning the answer to this question.  “Trust the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3: 5-6
This tells me that when I trust in the Lord, and do not lean on my understanding, when I acknowledge Him in everything that He makes my path straight.  Lord, I really need that path to be straightened now.  My mind is in a whirl.  Only You can make my road clear.  Help me to trust in You and put You first in everything.

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